My manual was speaking gibberish again.
I was finishing up step 3, and by golly, I swear it WAS NOT speaking English!!!!
I know what that means now, though--- it means I need to start over.
Start over where? The beginning of the step? The beginning of the manual? I hashed out step one pretty well this last time, so maybe Chapter 2? Hmmm...
Oh, and negative thoughts were berating me, telling me I OUGHT to be PeRfEcT by NOW, right? Right? So, why aren't you perfect, Chelsie? Why do you make the same mistakes? Why do you take refuge in your addictions during times of stress? You KNOW better. Maybe this program isn't going to work for you after all? Maybe it is hopeless? I mean, it is speaking GIBBERISH, after all. Goodness...
I decided to mull it over at church.
Then, I ended up attending the combined Relief Society and Priesthood lesson, since I am all released from my calling and stuff. Apparently, all you have to do is tell the right people you are a BIT stressed out, and you are released lickety split around here.
So, off to my meetings I went. No calling except Visiting Teaching to worry over.
Weird.
And the bishop was teaching.
And it was beautiful poetry to my ears. Exactly what I needed.
God is SO good.
The lesson spoke of the Fourth Article of Faith.
"Can anyone quote it?", he asked.
All heads bowed in immediate contemplation over shoe laces and how all are different.
Fed up, spunky, intelligent friend, seminary teacher, D. spoke up,
"We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the gospel are
First- Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ,
Second- Repentance
Third-Baptism by immersion for the remission of sins,
Fourth- Laying of of hands for the Gift of the Holy Ghost"
"Good," the Bishop said.
"So, what does the first step mean?"
We spoke of faith. And someone mentioned we should have faith to repent. Another mentioned, "Well, we really need to have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, which will lead to repentance, which will lead to Baptism, which will lead to getting the Gift of the Holy Ghost"
Excellent answer.
The bishop agreed, and had that person stand up and repeat the wonderful answer.
This got me thinking,
"Do I have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ?" Yes. Is it really that simple? Yes.
The bishop then asked us how OfTeN should we repent?
One woman spoke of how she repents daily, at her bedside when the day is over. She spoke of what a sacred experience this is to her.
It sounded nice.
But in my heart, I thought of how discouraging it was at the end of the day to find myself again on my knees, saying sorry for the same things I was sorry about yesterday... I thought,
"This doesn't work for me..."
The Bishop again asked,
"So, how often?"
I had a thought,
Right after I do something wrong would be good.
And others started to raise their hands and echo my thoughts.
SO, it reminded me, again, that repentance isn't meant to be a one time thing, but a process throughout life and into the Eternities of slowly working hard every moment until we can stand before our maker. And He will say, "Well done."
"SO,
Faith,
Repentance,
Then what?" The Bishop asked.
"Baptism," the answer from a hand raiser.
He then explained how after we are baptised, we take the sacrament each Sunday. Which represents all the covenants we made at Baptism.
Hmmm...
"So, how do we know we are worthy to take the sacrament?" One brave hand raiser asked.
The smart Bishop turned it over to us to answer.
Many hands raised, many opinions were given, both scholarly and testimonial (my favorite always being the testimonial kind...) But my mind was far away...
The spirit took it back to the beginning of class and my notes. And I had this one, clarifying thought,
If we are working to have faith in The Lord Jesus Christ and repenting each time we are aware we have done something wrong, we can know we are worthy of the Sacrament, and take it. And be filled with the Holy Ghost to strengthen us for another week.
And become more fully unspotted by the world as we do so.
Lovely.
I love going to Church.
The JOY of red!
32 minutes ago





