Pray Chelsie, Pray...

Prayer

"Paul taught us that God is the 'God of all comfort; who comforteth us in all our tribulation' (2 Corinthians 1:2-4). If you pray each time you sit down to write your inventory, God will help you. You will learn this reality as you take this seemingly impossible step--

God can and will always be there for you, if you ask."

Addiction Recovery Manual, Step Four, page 23

My Friend, C took the picture. Lovely isn't it? I would like to be there while I pray, but home is just as well.

"Include in your inventory your good traits and the positive things you have done. In truth, you are a combination of weaknesses and strengths. As you become willing to see the whole truth about your past-- good and bad-- you allow the powers of heaven to reveal the truth and help you put the past in proper perspective. The Lord will help you change your life's course and fulfill your divine potential.. You will learn that you are like all other humans, with strengths and weaknesses. You can begin to face others on equal footing."

Almost a year ago, I began going to my first Addiction Recovery Meetings.

We read a step a week, regardless of what everyone is working on, and we are encouraged to move at our own pace in spite of this.

The first time we read step four, was the first time I had ever considered that I was like other humans. That other people had strengths and weaknesses.

I thought I may be the only one.

Writing about it now, I can see that is ridiculous, but I still have a hard time seeing myself truly on equal footing with others.

I guess that is what addiction does to a person.

It puts them in Satan's grasp in subtle ways for the duration of the addiction.

Isn't that sad?

(the photo is of some real friends. It is easier to make real friends now that I am not always trying to hide my weaknesses ;). Promise.)

Click HERE to read the Addiction Recovery Manual.

That Darn Step Four

TRUTH

"Make a searching and fearless written moral inventory of yourself"

"Through this inventory, we identified negative thoughts, emotions, and actions that ruled our lives."

"Unless you examine all your tendencies toward fear, pride, resentment, anger, self-will, and self-pity, your abstinence will be shaky at best."

UGH. This is what I have been up to lately. Again. I think this is my third time. But, each time, I peel back another layer of self pity, pride, or some other thing that keeps me from having healthy relationships with my loved ones and my God. So, I love this step. And I hate it.

My poor husband watches me fall to pieces each time I do it.

P

I

E

C

E

S.

But, each time, I come out of it closer to my Heavenly Father. And that is so worth it.

When I come out of it, I hope to be able to share some of my discoveries with you, if you would like.

SO, if you don't know, THIS POST, explains a bit why I am a part of the LDS services Addiction Recovery Program.

And if you want to read more of the Addiction Recovery manual,(I highly recommend it) CLICK HERE.

And you know, getting back into blogging after so long makes me so nervous, that I can't write even one more sentence. Don't worry, it won't last long. I just had to get this first post out of the way.

Missing Posting

Yay I am posting!!!!! Oh, how I miss having a minute to share. I have 7. SO here goes.

I was reading in the Addiction Recovery Program Manual, and it asked,

"How does gratitude help you be humble?"

I didn't know, so I prayed and asked.

I wrote down,

"When I realize all of my blessings,

I see how I can't do things on my own.

That is humbling."

Yep.

Since I sold, and bought a house, and it is all supposed to go down next week, I anticipate I will not be posting for a while. But see, too many blessings to count. SO many things I couldn't do on my own. Reminds me of how much I cannot do happily without my Heavenly Fathers help. That IS humbling! Yay Humble!!

Just Breathe, Lessons From Yoga

Yes, I said,





"Lessons From Yoga,"





just keeping it real!






Because the real me loves Yoga. But rarely have I practiced it lately.





Ah, how the holidays rob me of all I normally do and even want to do. But that is how Christmas should be. It is a concentrated microcosm of what life is all about. Giving up your life, to serve Him. Love it.





Anyways, back to Yoga.





I was lucky enough to practice some Yoga with a good friend about a month ago now... My. How time flies.





It was so wonderful.





She had never done it before, which made it even better!





Though it was a strenuous workout, by the end, we were both relaxed and refreshed. We felt lovely, I would say. Lovely.





All throughout the workout, this particular instructor liked to say,





"Relax your eyes. Breathe into the exercise,"





he would EsPeCiAlLy say it when we were doing the hardest exercises. It was a funny experience to be doing something really hard, and then relaxing my, "eyes," ( his way of telling us to relax the muscles in our face) and then focusing on breathing.





As I went home that day and started into my many responsibilities, I found myself saying that during very stressful moments,





"Relax your eyes, breathe..."





For some reason, today, I kept thinking about that.





It is Monday, which means it is cleaning day. Oh, the stress of cleaning day.





Normally.





I decided to try to relax my face and breath whenever I felt life got hard today.





Kids were screaming or not getting along, or both. Relax your face. Breathe.





I have to do the dishes, Caleb wants to play operation, Jackson is asking to be held. Relax your face. Breathe.





It. Was. Awesome.





There was something about the BREATHING that was really nice.





As I relaxed my facial muscles and breathed, I realized two things.





I wasn't stressed, not even ONCE when I did so.





And also, my priorities completely changed!





I suddenly realized, I didn't feel it was necessary to deep clean, I just wanted to do the regular upkeep today, because poor middle child Caleb had some new toys that no one had taken the time to show him yet. And by golly, I wanted to play with Caleb. The other two boys played with us, too. It was fun.





And then, I realized I wanted to feed my family better than usual, so I researched some good recipes for that. Oh, and I wanted to upload some pictures and photos from Christmas, too. And I read the first article in the Ensign for January. My house is neat and tidy. But don't look too closely at the floors or mirrors. Because they aint clean people.





I must say, that as long as I was relaxing my face and breathing, I was happy, and my soul was calm. I now suspect that the reason for that is this.





It gave me the opportunity to listen to the Holy Ghost. My day was awesome.





SO good!












How was yours?

May I Stay?

I relish the times when I can just sit. Meditate, read, whatever.

The point is, it's QuIeT. It feels so peaceful! The spirit is so strong!

I wish I could just stay.



But the reason the spirit is strong in these moments is just to council me on how to be when it is NOT quiet ;).

Warm Feelings

I have been thinking about Tender Mercies lately.

My Manual told me to do so in chapter two. (click there if you would like to check it out)

Isn't that a fun thing to be told to do? It is supposed to increase my ammount of hope.

And I am going to a meeting again tonight!!!!! Oh, what a neat thing. Mr. Incredible has been out of town for his new job, and only home a few days a week, so the meetings were nixed for a while. BUT, since he is in town a few extra days this week (for our ANNIVERSARY!!!! Nine years on Tuesday people. Can you believe that?), we both decided that me going to a meeting tonight would be just the thing ;). SOOOO glad about that.

So anyways, Tender Mercies.

Something I didn't catch in my first, or SECOND perusal of this manual, was that the action the manual asks you to take in this chapter is this,

"...become willing to practice believing in the love and mercy of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and the accessibility and blessing of the Holy Ghost."

Ummm... How does one practice this, you ask? ( I did. I wrote that question down in my margin, "How do you practice?)

Well, the manual answers this question a few lines later.

"...by watching for evidence of Their love and power in your life and in the lives of others."

I wanted to be good at this. So, I got down on my knees, and prayed for it. Each morning this week, that has been a part of my prayer.

At first, I noticed things like, when I went to Kroger, and Jackson had this horrible rash on his booty, I forgot to buy him some cream. But, the tender mercy was that before I had left the parking lot, I remembered. I don't know how. The spirit just told me. And I was so glad that I still had time to run back in and grab it.

Small, right? But when I had bought the cream, then was about to pull out of the parking lot (again), it occured to me that this could count as a tender mercy. And a warm feeling washed over me. The feeling was so sudden and shocking that it brought tears to my eyes.

And that's how I knew that thought was on the right track. I think God likes it when we notice the little tender mercies, as well as the large.

I know how I like it when my kids, husband, and friends notice the small things I do for them. Because small as they are, I do it because I love them and want them to know it.


God REALLY wants us to know He loves us, too.

But today something super special happened.

I was on the phone with my husband as he was driving home from church, and I was thinking about how worried I was about how long it will take our house to sell. (We are trying to sell it so we can move and live with Mr. Incredible where he is now working. No sell, no move-- that's our motto)

And as I thought despairingly about how long it could possibly take, I was overcome with that same, sudden, shocking, warm feeling. And suddenly the thoughts in my head were all about how everything was going to be okay.

And I believe it, against everything I can currently see, therefore should be feeling.

I believe it.

Everything is going to be okay.

Now, if that isn't a tender mercy, well, I guess I just don't know what is.